Part Two: Finding yourself

You and being able to know yourself is one of the most important relationships you are gonna take care of in your life. Some people call it self-esteem. It is that important that it will define the way you relate with others, the way you will look for a partner and the people you feel attracted to.

To know who you are and what you need, you need to take care of yourself. To be able to experience a truly good relationship with yourself, don’t just care about your body by dieting and doing exercise, the mind also needs some care to keep it healthy.
But, how do you know that you are going to develop a positive and real relationship with yourself? This will take you your whole life because, like all successful relationships, you always need to be working on it.

So here you have five simple clues to improve your self esteem;

  1. Having a notebook to write down three things every day for which that day has being worthwhile. They can be anything and they don’t have to be big issues, but those little things that make you feel better: a nice hot shower, a coffee in the morning, looking at a stranger in the train, talking with a friend, laughing at a funny tv scene, cooking dinner, enjoying a good book or just hearing the song you love on the radio.
  2. Talking to oneself kindly. As the language creates reality, we should not underestimate the power of our words. During the day unfortunate events will happen: dropping the food we were about to eat, forgetting the house keys or breaking something we love. 
The immediate reaction would be blaming ourselves. “I am a disaster! ” I get it all wrong “… All these thoughts are negative views about us that will trigger negative emotions causing discomfort, sadness and low self-steem perception. Changing our words is the key to succeed: “Well I’ve had this problem, but it is not disastrous“, “It can happen to anyone,” “It’s normal to make a mistake” … If the language becomes positive, the upcoming emotions will be positive as well.
  3. Living in the present. The past and the future are two states that can only be remembered or anticipated. But what truly exists is the present. And it is there where we can exercise our power. It is difficult to be aware of what is happening at any time. The best way to do it is by paying attention to ourselves and being aware of what we do and what we feel each moment.
  4. Writing 10 good things about yourself as a checklist and keep it to read them often. It may cost a little at the beginning, but 10 is a minimum that anyone should be able to find out.
  5. A ‘positive sentence closet’. 
Just as you have a closet full of clothes to wear as desired, each person should have a closet full of phrases or positive words towards oneself to use when appropriate because these messages of encouragement will truly comfort you if they are real and you believe them. It is about creating a personal mantra. The best way to create a mantra is to think about which kind of sentences would cheer you up. “I am a person who deserves to succeed”, “My attitude is positive,” “I feel great,” “I am happy”, “I am strong” … But we can also borrow sentences from movies, books and advertisements.

The road to building successful connections is basically yourself.

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